My Story – by Lisa Ruggeri
We all have a story about our life and the experiences we had from childhood to adult. This is mine, one that extends from a family secret of abuse that transformed into a life-goal of helping others overcome similar circumstances and acquire the goals they only dream about.
I grew up in Wyoming, where every town is a small town. My brother and I lived and grew up in an abusive home at the hands of our mother. So many times I would wonder why I survived and other kids were dying.
Over time, I healed from the physical bruises. I lived my adult life stuck in the mental and emotional bruises and conditioning from the words of my mother. I would always hear those words “you’re not good enough”, “you will never amount to anything”, and “I’m ashamed of you”. Those words and phrases lingered in the back of my mind well into my adulthood. They guided and were in charge of my life.
This is the place where I lived my life. Stuck!
I always did what I was supposed to do. I went to school. I got an education. I got into a great career. I got married. I had a son.
One day, I was sitting at my desk at work; divorced, my son grown and on his own. I felt so lost in this huge world. Yes, I had a career that I loved. I was a subject matter expert. I was great at my chosen career path, but I was lost and empty inside. I wanted something more; so, I retired after 20 years in law enforcement. I donated all my household belongings. After doing so, absolutely everything I owned fit into my car.
The day after I retired, I packed up my car and took off driving. I was not sure where I was going or what I would be doing. I had a few scheduled stops along the way, but otherwise, I was just off to find myself and the life I truly desired to be living. I put all my faith and trust fully in God.
It was a journey of a life time.
My brother and I confronted our mother, who will no longer even talk to us. For us, it was healing to give her back the elephant we carried on our backs. To us, the elephant was the broken childhood and the harsh words that ruled our thoughts. My brother and I learned a valuable lesson during this time, together we are strong and no one can ever hurt us again.
Now, I have found my true life’s purpose, to help others who were hurt find that peace within them. I decided to write a book about my healing path. This book has taken me several years to write, but will be coming out soon. It will talk about my journey of self-discovery, and how I found my strength and voice to finally speak up and out. I vow to no longer keep the family secret. Yes, this behavior my mother displayed to my brother and I was a family learned behavior. My mother was a victim herself, but that does not excuse the fact that she continued the cycle of abuse. My brother and I can proudly say that we have stopped this cycle of abuse. Thankfully, our beautiful children do not know what it is like to live how we lived.
I have had to overcome so many barriers, mostly the ones inside of me that held me back. As an adult, I could no longer blame my mother for anything. I had to take responsibility and accountability for my own life. I had to believe in myself for the first time in my life. I had to stop looking for my mother’s approval for everything I did.
Another thing I had to do for my healing was to forgive my mother. I can honestly say I am to the point where I fully forgive her. I have not said those words to her as she does not wish to speak with my brother and me. It is my hope; however that one day before she passes, I can stand in front of her and tell her that I forgive her. I had to learn that forgiving her was for my healing and not for her sake or approval.
One day I was sitting writing my book and a thought crossed my mind. When my book is complete and I go out talking about my experience how will I help those who come to me saying they want to get where I am, on the other side of living in the pain of our past.
This was my defining moment where I sought out life coaching programs. My purpose in life is to help others who have been hurt and eventually I will start a non-profit foundation to help the kids who are currently being hurt. No one deserves to live in an abusive situation. Each and every child deserves to live a life full of love and peace.
I am certified in five coaching programs and will continue my own education to fully serve others and their healing needs.
I plan on using my book as the means to get in front of audiences and offer my coaching to help those who are ready to heal, move into a life free from pain, and fully into the life they deserve to be living.
I am at the beginning of my journey – so stay tuned. My mission is to help and serve others. A few laws need to be changed. Government entities need to be revamped. With God on my side, guiding me each step, I will find a way to accomplish my mission and new life’s purpose.
Thank you for taking the time to read and listen.