What does it mean to not be perfect?
We have all done this at one point in our life, having that drive to be perfect. At times it means we push ourselves through obstacles to become successful at what we are driving for. We could be driving for anything; career, personal life gain, sports… It does not matter what it is but the process is the same. Each and every one of us wants to be the best at something in our life and that requires complete dedication, drive and desire.
There is a fine line somewhere in the sand where we take this drive from a healthy standpoint to an unhealthy one. We all need to find where that line is we have drawn for ourselves. This line becomes obvious when everything turns into a competition or we start feeling like we are failing in other areas in our life and get frustrated. If feeling frustrated all the time, maybe it’s time to look at the concept of trying to be perfect in all areas of our life.
Why are we being hard on ourselves?
We are humans and we do want the best life we can possibly create, but to what cost. This perfectionist drive we start in one area of our life will eventually bleed over to all areas of our life. We start to get frustrated and critical on ourselves. It does not mean we don’t have to give our best in all areas of our life, but we don’t have to be so hard on ourselves when we have temporary setbacks. Temporary setbacks or some might call them failures are actually a good thing. Failures help us expand our creativity and help us learn and grow. If we learn from our failures we are actually bettering our self for the successes. It is ok to fail and imperative we use all failure as learning lessons.
What good comes from being perfect?
So much good actually comes from the quest of being perfect. We get to see impossible results from our hard work, dedication and efforts. This might mean a professional career in sports. Those athletes strive to push themselves mentally and physically each and every day. They are inspiring to watch as they reach new goals and heights for themselves. This might also mean new career opportunities. The top leaders and corporate achievers push themselves to awe inspiring positions within the business world. Then there are those that have personal achievements in areas where we only see the successes. Thomas Edison had 1000 failures inventing the light bulb before he designed the one we still use today. Where would we be now if he gave up at the 20th light bulb? We see his success but not the frustration behind the 1000 failures. His drive is what keep him going and he learned from each and every failure until he had his one success.
What life obstacles have we faced wanting to be perfect?
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be perfect. Keeping this perfectionist drive under control can be a challenge when we unknowingly take it into other areas in our lives. If we strive to have a great career and we are successful in all the stepping stones to the top of the corporate world we are successful. At home, we want to take this same mindset and have the perfect marriage, family and house.
In our marriage, we are only half of the whole and it takes two for a marriage to work. If one partner has unrealistic expectations of the marriage this may lead to frustration with both sides. Marriages are not always perfect and will require daily work, maintenance and communication to ensure success. Perfectionism and unrealistic expectations are stressors for the marriage and will inevitably cause a break down. The same goes for the family. Try having a perfect two year old, we all know they have minds of their own and will push the boundaries. The tighter you have the boundaries because of your perfectionism the more they will push and resist against them. These are just two areas we might need to be in tune with and keep our perfectionist view under a more realistic understanding.
Job 9:22 says “He destroyeth the perfect and the wicked”.
It is not meant for us to be perfect in all areas of our life. We simply cannot learn from our failures and mistakes if we desperately seek perfectionism. Being perfect is a form of desperation and control.
It’s ok not to be perfect!
On this day, sit back and look at every area of your life. Write down and take note where you are frustrated and dealing with struggles. In each of these areas, take a deep soulful look and ask yourself if you are striving for perfectionism and if you have unrealistic expectations. It truly is ok to not be perfect. Use your drive and inspiration to achieve great things but don’t let it get you to a point of frustration and unhealthy behavior.
We can have a great life and many successes. Be flexible with change and don’t be hard on yourself and the others around you. Laugh more. Laugh at yourself. Love those around you unconditionally. Love yourself unconditionally. Be forgiving. Keep realistic views. You only get one chance at life, so make it a great one. Let your two year old run around in the front yard with just a diaper on when they refuse to get dressed.
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